That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can't turn off my feet"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
