my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
