THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
