She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
