So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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