Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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