He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
