At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
