Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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