Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
