i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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