u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
