If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
