i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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