I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
