Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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