Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
