I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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