How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
