Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
