Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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