Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
