At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
