White coat. Heels.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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