Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
