I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
