I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Blood and glitter go together right?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
