you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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