My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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