does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dick very happy bro
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
