who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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