I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize