I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
