OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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