david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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