allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
