dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
