yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
