i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
