does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
