Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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