So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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