i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
