the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
