I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
