There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I need help removing her.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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