so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i think im in europe. pls send help
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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