Umm I'm too high to move.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
