One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
