Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
