Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
