just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
