If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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