well I can't set my house on fire every night
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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