brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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