lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
