Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The feeling are messing with the penis
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
