She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
