I wannas sexs uuuuu
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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