Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
