I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
