absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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