Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i need some magic done to my vagina
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
